


Empty Nest

by Midlifecrisis



Series: Youth is Wasted on the Young [1]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Challenges, Established Relationship, Gay Sex, Glasgow, M/M, Memories, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-09-30 15:27:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17226584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midlifecrisis/pseuds/Midlifecrisis
Summary: Isak and Even's daughter goes to University. Whilst on the trip to take her, they reflect back on their 25 years together.





	1. Beginnings?

Isak started blinking quickly, trying to dry his eyes and hold back the tears from becoming a reality. The girl, no...the woman, on the other side of the doorway smiled sweetly, although a little impatiently, at him. 

“It's fine dad, I'll be ok. You and Papa go and enjoy the rest of your weekend. You deserve this break. I have everything I need and it's time..."

Isak knew she was right, but he couldn't believe that he and Even were standing here, dropping their baby girl off at a university flat, in a foreign country and that he seemed to be the only one at all upset. He glanced at Even to his left. Even - who wore his heart on his sleeve in every area of life: crying at crappy romantic movies, TV adverts for donkey sanctuaries and YouTube stories about kittens with two legs - yet seemed to be perfectly fine with their child, still so young at 19 years old, leaving them, to start her own life.

He sighed and reached across searching for his husband. Even knew Isak, probably better than he knew himself and was already waiting with his own hand to gently enfold Isak's shaking one. 

"Come on babes," he whispered gently, "let's leave Kari to get to know her new flat mates. We have two whole days in Glasgow and we'll pop back and see her before we go. She has a cupboard full of food, all the teabags one student can use and enough pens to start a shop"

He looked pointedly at his daughter,

"Isn't that right darling, we'll see you on Sunday for lunch in town before we fly home."

"Of course, Papa." She paused. "I love you both so much...but I am really excited to start at the Conservatoire, and this first week has so many mixers and social events. I know I'm going to love it and make so many new friends.” 

Isak’s heart broke again, she was so excited to move on from them and begin her next chapter. 

“Although my English still needs work.” She smiled shyly.

Isak did what he always did and rushed to her defence.

"Your English is just wonderful and you are going to crush this course. You will be a world famous percussionist before you know it and we will travel the world just to cheer you on." 

He felt the pride swell in his heart. He took an enormous breath in and slowly let it go…let Kari go.

"Come on Even, our daughter is a young woman now. Let's go and explore her new city and party like we are not two forty-somethings devastated at an empty nest, but two young free and in-love guys who are going to party the hell out of the gay clubs in this town!"

Even laughed out loud, a quick, sharp blast, that made Isak' stomach flip a little. Even kissed Kari...lingering with his lips on her cheek for just a moment, long enough for Isak to understand that his heart was breaking too, but that he did what HE always did, and cared for the others around him. He dragged Isak slowly down the shared stairs (which smelled rather suspiciously of 3 day old beer).

Isak looked back until he could no longer see her waving and blowing kisses at her door.

They had two days of life ahead of them with fewer responsibilities than they had known in 17 years. Could they remember how to do this and did they have the stamina?

Isak looked at Even as the door behind them closed. He saw that Even's beautiful eyelashes were obviously damp as well. He smiled the biggest grin he could manage, hoping Even didn't notice his barely concealed misery. Isak made the decision to fake a smile and follow his better half into, if not the unknown, then at least the dimly remembered world of 'having a life'. 

"As fantastic as that sounds, ‘partying the hell out of the gay clubs in this town’ " smiled Even, quoting Isak back at himself as they strolled slowly down the street full of student residences still with their fingers twinned together, "do you think we can do back to the hotel and have a snooze first? I'm exhausted!"


	2. New Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Isak and Even try some new things - family, careers, dances and something more intimate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend a ceilidh if you ever get the opportunity. It is a cross between a dance, a fight and a workout and is very, very good fun. The ceilidh band I reference here are the amazing 'Bahookie'.

“Fuuuuck…” Isak let out a slow groan in the form of a curse. His head was agony. 

Where was he? What had they done last night to leave him feeling like this? He very slowly rolled over to see Even lying next to him, on his back, snoring like a train. That’s where Kari got her terrible snoring from, he thought to himself. The scientist in him knew that they weren’t genetically related, but the father in him knew better than anyone that genetics had very little to do with what made a family.

He loved his husband very much, and still found him super attractive: tall and slender, his blond hair tinted with the slightest of sexy grey hair and the lines on his face, especially the permanent one between his eyebrows, adding a bit of statesmen-like gravitas to his playboy image. The little scar on his cheekbone, making him look 'dangerous'. However, even through his love goggles he could see that Even was in a bad way. He was obviously very hung over and smelled…awful!

He gently rubbed Even’s shoulder to try and wake him as slowly as possible, and if he was honest, to stop that godawful noise coming out his mouth.

“Morning baby. Do you want a glass of water?”

Even rolled over, his movements mirroring Isak’s of a few seconds ago,

“Fuuuuuck… What did we do last night? What did we drink last night? My whole body hurts, especially my arse and not in a good way! My mouth feels like something has gone there to die!”

“It smells like it too! Water?”

Even took the glass of tepid tap water that Isak handed to him and lifted his head enough to drink it like it was the elixer of life.

“What happened?”

“I think it was that wedding” whispered Isak, as they previous evening came trickling back into his brain.

They had left Kari, had a little sleep as requested and then gone downstairs to have a leisurely dinner at their hotel – something that still felt like an immense luxury. As they sat in the bar after, looking at the drinks list and trying to decide if they wanted to experience the full visit to Glasgow by trying a whisky, a wedding party arrived. A huge group of noisy people, including lots of men in kilts, sat around them and began to talk to them. Isak had considered his English to be very good, and at first he couldn’t work out what language these people were speaking, until he recognised a few words and realised that it was English, but with some very strong Scottish accents. 

Everyone was delighted to hear that they were a couple and visiting to drop their daughter at University. Question after question was asked at a rapid pace and before they knew it they were in the function suite getting ready to experience their first ceilidh.

“Aw yous cannae spend yer first night in Glesga on yer own. Moan an join us at the kaylay?”

(Isak later learned that it meant 'you can't spend your first night in Glasgow on your own, come and join us', and the dance was pronounced ‘kaylay’ but spelled ceilidh – and he thought Norwegian was tough!)

They had danced for nearly three hours, only resting to sip at the whiskies bought for them and beer to quench their thirst. They hadn’t been allowed to buy a round all night. Isak remembers one dance lasting more than ten minutes of non-stop twirling and clapping. Still, men in kilts were hot - literally and aesthetically!

“What was that band like?” he groaned to Even. “I never imagined that you could have bagpipes, violins, drums, guitars and a sample machine all on the stage at the same time. I’m sure I heard some Eminem in the middle of that massive line of twirling that we did!”

Even groaned and rolled over. It was another two hours until they both woke properly for the second time and were able to attempt eating any breakfast. They made it downstairs just in time for the last sitting. 

“Still…” whispered Isak as they stood at the buffet table, “drunk sex is still as good as I remember” and he grinned his toothiest smile at Even.

Even speared a piece of bacon and put it next to this pile of eggs on his plate,  
“Better keep our energy levels up then babe!” and he wiggled his eyebrows at him in a suggestive way. 

Isak loved that they still fancied each other after all that had happened.

“I don’t think I have felt this rough since our first few months with Kari. Do you remember how tired we were the whole time?” said Even.

 

*******

 

Isak and Even stood on opposite sides of the cot, their eyes slowly moving back and forward between the sleeping two year old who was snoring like an old man, and each other's faces.

"So?" Isak whispered as neutrally as he could manage, "This has happened!"

He caught Even's gaze and saw the sadness, fear, anxiety and reluctant excitement in his own soul reflected back at him in his husband's eyes.

"Yeah," the sigh from Even came back. "We've lost Lea and gained her daughter all in one horrible month. When someone asks you to be the person who will take on their child if anything ever happens to them, you never expect..." His words faded away.

Isak always thought that this was the type of thing that happened to other people, not his family. Lea had been not only his sister, but one of his best friends. Mama and Papa loved him, loved them both, but there was a closeness that the siblings shared - coping with their Mama's health and their Papa's rather distant nature. She was a sister who understood his history without him having to explain anything. A sister who had let him be himself with her, let him talk and moan and whine and still loved him. Although older, she never treated him like a child and had supported his move into the shared flat when home just didn't work anymore. As a working woman who left as soon as she could, she knew Isak needed to be away from the toxic atmosphere of that house and all that it had become. As Isak had moved onto university his relationship with her had become better and better, and by the time she was unexpectedly but happily pregnant with Kari, he was over the moon to become an uncle. At 22 he felt ready for the excitement of kids in the family, but definitely ones that were not his own.

And now a random and meaningless car accident had left him with Kari in his life in a bigger way than ever before. He was no longer just a fun uncle but her main guardian. Her dad. He and Even, married only for 4 and a half months, were now parents.

Those first six months with Kari had been like nothing Isak had ever experienced before. Babysitting and uncle fun-days-out had in no way prepared him for the intensity of being a dad. He was still grieving for his wonderful sister and all that her life could have been, caring for a demanding two year old who obviously missed her mum but could not explain what or why, and trying to be a husband to Even. Their tiny flat was filled with toys, books, drawers of Kari's clothes as well as Isak's textbooks, study notes and Even's editing equipment. The front door looked like a shoe/coat/hat explosion and no matter how many times Isak or Even tidied it up, it was carnage within a day.

Their life very quickly changed from being two young guys, focused on their own social events, love life, study and careers, to two young, very inexperienced parents, who did very little else but look after their daughter.

Isak was sitting his final exams in those first months and he overly relied on Even to pick up the slack at home and with the childcare. Even was meant to be editing at home anyway – setting up his own business for weddings and anything else that the lovely people of Oslo would like a permanent though ‘tasteful’ record of. He got hardly any work done, finishing only one wedding video before Kari very quickly filled his days. They talked about it and knew that they could afford no more childcare than the free government hours so Even it was. He was quickly shown to be a wonderful father. He was creative – sometimes to a messy fault, especially when paint was involved; and he was he was reliable – a surprise to both men. Even was a natural carer, which Isak had long suspected. All Even needed was a junior object for his affection, for his full nurturer to come out. It seemed that having someone else, someone vulnerable, to care for had given Even a new way to think about his condition as well. He told Isak that he was keeping everything in check as best as he could; sleeping, eating, diary writing and therapy appointments so that nothing would get in the way of caring for Kari. Isak knew that he wasn’t ‘cured’, he knew that was not an option; but when the ups and downs came Even seemed to want to be ready to soften them as much as possible.

Isak stayed late at the library every day, unable to concentrate at home. He had always studied on the bed, but now Kari was in their room, this was impossible. The only other place to study was their tiny table but Even insisted that Kari have regular meals at a table - keen to give her structure and a schedule that she could take comfort in. And so Isak strained his eyes and his brain in order to get to the next stage - to be able to begin another 6 years of his life studying and working. He had always planned for his degree in human sciences to be the first step to studying medicine. It slowly became clear to him that this was never going to happen.

One night, a few days after Isak’s last exam, as he was washing up the dinner dishes, Isak felt Even’s hands on his waist and his breath behind his ear. He turned round with soapy hands and gently kissed his husband, a brush of his lips. Even stroked Isak’s neck, just where his too long hair had started to curl, in the way that he loved. He always told Isak how much he missed them after his haircut. 

“Hi.” He breathed, their mouths still millimetres apart. He paused, as if thinking how to say something important. His eyes looked down to the left – a tell that Isak knew of old.

“Now that your exams are done, can you apply for the medicine course before you get your results? It’s not that I want to pressure you, I know you have been working so hard, but it’s time for that dream of being a doctor to start becoming a reality." He smiled gently and kissed him again.

"I need to talk to you about that, baby.” Isak sighed. “I've been thinking long and hard about this. I've been studying with so much focus for this lot of exams that I’ve hardly seen you or Kari. I don’t think that this is what Lea had in mind when she asked us to have her if…” his words died away.

“…and I really don't think I've got another six years in me.” He continued more confidently. “Not with Kari and the changes we've had to make. It's not the same life we have anymore. I’m really tired Even, and we need a wage coming in, one that is more than what our two part time jobs can generate." 

He looked at Even, taking in his so-blue eyes and the little line that had formed between his eyebrows. Even was starting to frown. He backed away from Isak and looked at him intently, like he was seeing him in a new light. They both stood in silence, looking at each other, trying to read the situation. Even didn’t disagree, but as long as he had known Isak, he had dreamed of using his science to become a doctor. He said so,

“But it’s your dream Isak.”

“No it’s not baby. My dreams are – and in this order:  
1\. To be with you. Check.  
2\. To have a family with you. Check.  
3\. To use my mind/brains to support us. And I have a plan.  
I’m going to become a high school science teacher. It’s perfect.”

The line between Even’s eyes grew deeper and he raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“A high school science teacher, because you loved high school so much and just can’t wait to get back there?”

“I’m not the same person I was then, baby. You know that better than anyone. I told you once and I’ll say it again – nothing bothers me like it used to. Just think: I know what bad teaching is like so I can do it well. And I can be a role model for any kids that don’t fit into society’s idea of normal – bet you never thought I would say that! I'll be an LGBT+ champion! I really think I could make a difference and I'll understand them like no other teacher.”

Even gave a little snort and the line between his eyes began to fade. 

“I've haven't heard you speak with such enthusiasm for a long time. You’ve really thought this through?”

“I have. Some people from the education course came in to speak to us and I’ve done my research. I can get paid to train - they are trying to encourage graduates to become science teachers to meet a gap in recruitment. That means I can earn as I learn.” He smiled smugly and poked Even in the ribs. 

“I’m still smart you see!”

“Smart and beautiful, the full package.” He grinned, “Want to teach me some lessons while our daughter is sound asleep?”

Isak slipped his hands under Even’s shirt and delicately dragged his finger up and down his sides. 

“Well, I do have some new moves from that book I have been wanting to try out if you are up for it”

Even gently slid his own hand next to Isak’s laced his fingers with his husband’s. He slowly began to walk him to the sofa, keeping eye contact the whole time. It was the only place for a bit of privacy – neither of them comfortable to do anything in the same room as Kari.

“Lead on professor, let the lessons begin!”


	3. Mistakes (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even's thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A blatant attempt here to show the beauty of Glasgow as a city.
> 
> Apologies for the angst but it is necessary.

Even and Isak had been walking round the streets of Glasgow, keen to see as much of their daughter's new home as possible. Isak opened the tourist leaflet he had been following:

"Can we head to the big gallery at Kelvingrove and have a coffee there before you start dragging me round to look at paintings and sculptures that look just like all the paintings and sculptures we have already seen?" Isak smiled at Even. "We can either walk or get the bus."

"Let's walk" Even smiled back at him. It was a lovely day and despite warnings that it rains all the time in Glasgow, the sun seemed determined to shine for them. Even felt like it was a good omen. He reached for Isak's hand and swung it gently as they walked, his husband pointing the direction in which they should start moving. 

Even took the opportunity to look at Isak as they walked towards the gallery. Isak was still the most beautiful man to him, strong jaw and delicate curved lips. His face was a little care worn and his eyes had some lines round them but they still shone green like the sea on a cool day. His frame was still tall but a little thicker round the middle now. Even himself was still skinny, too skinny he thought, but Isak always seemed to like it so he had stopped worrying about it a long time ago. 

As they arrived about half an hour later, Isak stopped dead still and breathed out.

"Shit, It looks like something out of Harry Potter. Have we sent our daughter to Hogwarts?"

"This isn't part of the university, and the Conservatoire is a modern building,." Even grinned, "but this is pretty cool!" He loved monumental buildings that made a statement. Buildings that sat with weight and gravitas in their surroundings. As he thought about that, he thought about how much he loved art and beautiful things in general. That thought led him directly to Isak. He loved Isak. He felt it rush through him so strongly that he said it out loud,

"I love you Isak"

His husband's head twisted round to look at him. An immense smile took over his whole face.

"I love pretty things" he said, "and you are the prettiest: inside and out. I love that I get to hold your hand, and drink coffee with you, and share Kari with you and on occasion watch your sweaty top lip as you work your hardest to ride me or fuck me with all that you have and give me a top quality orgasm."

Isak blushed, tutted, giggled and reached over to give him a kiss. As Even turned towards him, Isak licked up both of Even's lips with the point of his tongue. One of Even's favourite moves.

"You'd better believe it old man. Let's go and see some art!"

Their visit was wonderful. Even stood for a full fifteen minutes in front of Dali's painting of Christ of Saint John of the Cross, mesmerised by the colours and detail. He had always loved this painting, but had never seen it for real. Every hair on Christ's head was burnished mahogany. Even could feel Isak's eyes on him as he gazed at the painting. Isak was watching him. Even wasn't beyond vanity and he had put on his new tortoiseshell glasses that he hoped made him look like a mature but still cool James Dean. He still wanted Isak to desire him and find him attractive. His thoughts were really running away with him today. He thought about how lucky he was and how nothing is really guaranteed in life. They wouldn't have had Kari otherwise. 

Anyway his effort must have worked because Isak listened patiently as he talked at him excitedly over coffee about the Scottish colourists.

"You know baby." Isak said, "It always surprises me when I remember how different we are yet how well we fit together. I haven't a clue about most of what you have just said, but I loved looking at you as you said it, and that it was me you were saying it to."

Even looked at him, still quietly thinking. Isak had moved him towards some forgotten feelings. These were something a bit different to the deep love that was always there. It was more of a desire, much more like his lust when they started out. He remembered when he had felt that before, but not for Isak. He looked at his husband with big eyes and felt that a bit of honesty was necessary.

"It wasn't always like this babes. I fucked up pretty badly during Kari's first year at school."

Isak frowned at him and sighed, "But that's what I mean," he said patiently. "You can't be married to the same person for almost twenty years and not have bad times. We're not some fictional couple who just have happy adventures that end with a kiss. We couldn't stay teenagers forever. Can you imagine how awful that would be, to be frozen as a moody, inexperienced 17 year old forever? Life is tough and we STILL fit together."

Even slowly smiled at him as he took in Isak's words.

"I was going to say despite our mistakes, baby, but I actually think it might be because of our mistakes. And always remember that it wasn't just you who messed up. We both both fucked up pretty spectacularly."

*******

"Even, they're awful. It's a war zone in that school and they hold all the cards. They are a bunch of fuckers and they don't appreciate any of the hard work that I put in!"

Isak slumped down onto the sofa, still in his jacket and shoes. His hair was sticking out from his head as if he had been hit by lightening. Even tried not to instantly complain and ask him to remove his wet, grubby outside shoes, but he had been at home with Kari all day who seemed to have gone straight from her terrible twos into moody teenager with apparently no break at all in between. And she was only four! 

The weather had been cold and wet and they father and daughter both had a serious case of cabin fever. The flat was small enough, without the added psychological dimension of feeling trapped. She had at last fallen asleep and although it was nearly time for dinner, and the fact that she was probably too old for such a nap, Even couldn't bear to waken their daughter until Isak got home to help him with her.

"I'm sorry babes. What was it this time? That arrogant first year class you have or the third years who only plan their Russ events and never complete any homework?"

"Worse!" Said Isak loudly, as Even winced incase he woke Kari, "it's the other teachers."

He began to tell Even a rather complicated story that included a lot of names, many of whom he had no idea who they were, and some school politics that not only did Even not understand, he really didn't care about. As Even half listened to Isak, he began to pick up the day's mess and get the dinner together and prepare himself for the return of Kari to the land of the living. Isak poured himself a drink as he went on and on about how hard his day had been. Even smiled at him encouragingly as he went through to the bedroom to rouse Kari as gently as possible. Just as he reached over to stroke her hair into wakefulness, Isak followed him into the room and all but bellowed,

"...and then the bastard said that as the new guy I had no right to do it so I should just wait my turn. Can you believe it! I've been there more than a year but he still called me a noob."

Even froze and looked at Kari's face. Instead of waking to a gentle caress and a smile, she woke to her Dad shouting and immediately crinkled up her face into a scowl and let out a loud howl.

"For fuck's sake, Isak." Yelled Even. "Now look what you've done. I'm sure you've had a terrible day in your paid employment with regular breaks, talking to adults and interacting with interesting young people. Your daughter and I have been cooped up here all day coping with some VERY interesting childhood behaviours, whilst making your dinner and 'Christ of Saint John of the Cross'" he cursed, "all you do is come home and talk incessantly about yourself. AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN POUR ME A DRINK!" He finished, definitely shouting the final sentence.

"Dinner is on the cooker, here's your daughter." As he shoved Kari into Isak's surprised embrace. "I'm away to get my own drink" and off he stormed into the rainy afternoon, wearing no jacket, picking up an umbrella at the door as a final attempt to prevent being soaked. It wasn't until he got to the bottom of the stairs that he realised it was Kari's Peppa Pig umbrella with the sparkly pink handle. He couldn't go back upstairs now, so he pushed up the pink monstrosity and strode out into the rain with as much chill as he could muster. Fuck, he still had it!

He stormed down the road and turned left. He found himself turning left four times until he ended up back in front of his own door again. His anger hadn't lasted long and now he just wanted to be warm and get a hug from Isak and Kari. He walked slowly up the stairs and peeked in the front door as it opened. Apparently he had zero chill.

"Hi guys." He smiled softly. "How's my best girl and best boy?"

Kari paused in mid snotty hiccup and turned to look at her Papa. Isak looked at him too. The silence was enormous.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

They both said at the same time.

They sat down to a rather quiet dinner. They chatted nonsense with Kari and faked polite conversation with each other. Even showered Kari. She was now far too big for the baby bath that they had used at the bottom of the shower in their tiny bathroom for the past 18 months. Isak read her a story and put her to bed, her little bed still in the corner of their room.

They sat together but not together on the couch and looked at each other. 

"Should we talk about this?" Said Even. "I don't like when we argue."

Isak sighed, "Must we? We've said sorry and I'll be careful to ask you about your days too. Let's just go to bed. I'm exhausted."

Even smiled on his face but sighed in his heart. With Kari in their room there would be no chance for anything but sleep. Isak got changed and got into bed. He kissed Even quickly on his temple and said,

"Night baby"

He rolled over onto his left side, back facing Even. Even scooched over behind Isak and draped his arm over his waist.

"I'm pretty tired if you don't mind Even. Love you."

"Of course babes. I understand. Love you too."

Even didn't sleep.

******

By the time Kari was six and attending full time school, Even had stopped raising his concerns with Isak. He had started up his videoing business again but he missed Kari through the day and didn't feel any passion about anything. He and Isak passed the evenings side by side when Isak wasn't at parents nights, meetings or catching up with colleagues and Even wasn't working. They were together but not together. Even ached.

He met Anna when he wasn't looking. He was sitting staring at the Oslo Opera House. He loved architecture and this was one of his favourites. She sat down beside him,

"It's lovely isn't it." She said simply

Even nodded.

"But I really love modern buildings. Do you like the MAD Building?"

From that simple comment a friendship was born. They met regularly for coffee and Even loved talking to her, telling her about Isak and Kari's latest developments. He also enjoyed listening to her talk about her job as an interior designer and her overly demanding clients. She was so passionate.

One Tuesday afternoon as they were sipping coffee and talking about Jackson Pollock and his similarities to Monet, Even took out a napkin and drew a doodle of the idea he was trying to explain. Anna complimented his drawing, so he drew a cartoon version of her on the rear and gave it to her. In drawing her, he really looked at her for the first time. She was small, maybe half a meter shorter than himself, a little bit plump with straight, shiny dark brown hair, a blunt fringe and an olive skin tone - probably Mediterranean. He felt something inside himself stir. 

Later, as he lay in bed beside Isak, he found himself wondering about how she felt. It has been a long time since he had looked at a woman with desire. Much longer since he had touched one in that way. Was she soft, in the fleshy way that women are? Did she remove hair or was she modern in her body care? How would she feel around him, loose or tight, warm and wet. He felt himself get hard.

Even blinked quickly, rolled away from Isak and tried to think about anything else. Fuck, it was a long night.

It was a very small distance between those first stirrings and his opportunity to find out for real.

The next week Anna presented him with a gift to repay him for the drawing. She had written him a poem.

"It's been a while since I've written poetry, Even" she said, almost too quiet to be heard. "But when you are inspired you can't ignore the Muse"

She handed Even a sonnet, a fucking sonnet, called Fantasy and Muse. Even read it with his heart fluttering and his stomach churning. It was very clear from this that her feelings for him were not only sexual, but very strong. She had thought about him in the same way as he thought about her. She had captured something about him that he himself had forgotten. He had been so lonely, beside Isak but so far away from him that when intimacy was offered he felt like a drowning man taking his first breath. It was intoxicating to be wanted again.

Anna leaned over and gently kissed him on the lips. "Call me to arrange our next meeting" she said. Even watched her walk out the door wondering what the hell he was meant to do now.


	4. Mistakes (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak's view on their difficulties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marriage is hard.

Isak answered Even, "...always remember that it wasn't just you who messed up. We both both fucked up pretty spectacularly."

Isak was able to think about it now without too much heartache, but the memories still stung.

*******

Isak had been so excited about starting his career as a teacher. The teacher training had been interesting enough but he was itching to get his hands on the students themselves. He had always planned on being a doctor. However, once he began to allow himself to think of alternatives he found that he became quite excited by teaching.

He considered science to be a positive in his life. His family life had been falling apart: Mama ill, Papa distant, Lea moved out and getting on with her life. He had been all but homeless until Eskild had taken pity on him and Noora's room became available. But science and learning at school at been something he could rely on. Through it he had expanded his circle of friends to include the wonderful Sana and found something he was genuinely good at. It also did no harm that he and Even found each other that year too, linking it all together in his head and heart as a super positive ball of happy memories.

The reality of teaching had been very different. 

Everything he had learned in his training seemed theoretical and useless to the practicalities of his situation. Controlling the students' bad behaviour and preparing relevant lessons took all his time and energy. The level of knowledge he had from his degree was way above anything he had to teach the students and he almost had to relearn his subject. Every day was exhausting and every evening was constant planning. He thought the students would be inspired to have a gay teacher who was out and proud: in reality they couldn't have cared less.

He knew that he was letting Even take the burden at home and with Kari, but he didn't know what else to do. They needed his income and he could see no other way.

They started arguing more often, until they stopped arguing and then stopped talking. Kari was loved and cared for but he didn't know what was happening to his marriage. Their flat was so tiny and their lives so busy. He and Even shared a house, a bed and a life but he was lonely. He didn't know what to do about it. He still loved Even, wanted him in his life, but he couldn't see a way forward. He began to ache for the carefree nature of his teenage years: friends, parties and possibilities. He began to doubt his decision not to go into medicine.

As the days blurred one into another he began to lose motivation and energy. He volunteered for every school event and went out with his colleagues more and more. He told himself it was to help in his career but in reality he had no idea why. He almost forgot Even's birthday (a hastily bought voucher for dinner saved him on that one) and then he definitely forgot their anniversary - nothing could save that at all. The sadness and disappointment on Even's face made him sad but he couldn't seem to bring himself to care.

It came to a head one night after Even had put Kari to bed.

"Isak, we need to talk."

"Can we do it another time, baby? I've got a set of class tests to mark and I need to write up my forward plans for the head of department." He sighed, "and I'm really tired."

Normally Even would have let him be, but tonight something was different:

"No Isak, it can't wait. This is important." He walked to the sofa, sat down and waited for his husband to join him.

Isak sat down and looked at him. He had never seen that look in Even's eyes before. They were still blue but had a coolness and sadness about them that he didn't expect. He suddenly felt very sick. He could taste bile in his throat and he felt like he was swallowing a tennis ball.

"Are you ill Even? Do you feel ok? Have I missed something?"

"My metal health is fine Isak, at least as far as my bipolar is concerned. I'm not having an episode. I am however very tired, lonely and sad. And I miss you." He finished off sadly.

Isak looked at him and didn't know what to say. He missed Even too, at least he missed what they had been, what he had been.

"Do you love me Isak?"

"Of course I love you. We're married, we have a child together and a life."

"That's not what I asked? Do you love me? Me? Even - the man, your partner. Am I still the love of your life?" Isak couldn't answer. He had no words and didn't know what to say. His mind went blank.

"What's brought this on Even? Why now? What are you asking?"

Even sighed at Isak's deflection. "I've met someone."

Isak's world ended.

"For a year now I have felt more lonely when I am with you than when we are apart. I don't know how you feel anymore. So I'll ask you again. Isak, do you love me?"

"You've met someone? Have you slept with him?" Isak exclaimed.

"It's a her. Her name is Anna and no I haven't slept with her. She wrote me a poem, kissed me and told me to call her. I haven't. Now I am speaking to you." Even looked devastated.

The silence was deafening.

Isak stood up and walked out of the flat. Even let him go.

Isak walked for a large part of the night. He had no idea where to go. Everything that he cared for was back in their flat. He walked, and walked, until he ended up at a door he recognised. He pressed the buzzer and heard the song-song voice of Eskild answer,

"Hello? This had better be a booty call?"

Isak sighed, "It's me, Isak."

"Why didn't you say baby gay. Up you come."

As soon as Eskild saw Isak, his face changed. "What's wrong darling? Is Even ok? Is Kari ok?"

Isak sighed. He knew that there was no point in lying. He needed answers and Eskild had always been there for him. He was lost and although Eskild was not his home, he felt like some kind of refuge.

"It's me that's the problem. I love Even so much but we are so far apart and I feel lost. He's met someone. I've been walking for hours. What happens if he leaves me? He's everything to me - him and Kari. I don't know what to do."

The wall of protection that Isak had built up in his heart collapsed. He began to sob in heartfelt gasps. Great big wracking gulps that hurt his throat and lungs. The tears started coming and wouldn't stop. He held onto his friend and broke down completely. He cried for so long he didn't know how long it was.

And just like that, Even was there in front of him with a sleeping Kari in his arms. Eskild gently peeled Kari off from Even and took her to his bedroom to sleep. Isak grasped onto his husband with all that he had and wept with abandon. Months of sadness and exhaustion spilled from him in the form of tears and phlegm. He looked at Even and saw his tear strewn, snotty face reflected back at him. Even was crying too, with same level of agony and pain. His head hurt and his eyes stung but he was so relieved. He knew this was the start of the road home.

Isak and Even went to couples counselling. They were honest and it really hurt. It is so difficult to hear your biggest mistakes reported back at you from the person you love. But it led to some significant changes. 

Isak began going to individual counselling and realised that he had been suffering from depression. Looking back it was so obvious but hindsight is a wonderful thing. He began to deal with it through his therapy 'homework'. Even kicked himself for not noticing but together they worked on their mental health. Isak spoke to his line manager about his workload and was given an experienced teacher as a mentor. 

Even realised that he needed a career of his own. In discussion with the counsellor and Isak he knew that he wanted to use his skills from his years as Kari's main carer. He investigated kindergarten jobs and ended up beginning his training as a nursery specialist. It fitted him like a hand in a glove. The children loved him and he felt a passion that had been missing for a long time.

Together the three of them: Isak, Even and Kari, began looking for a flat with two bedrooms. This was a non negotiable condition of their therapy. They could now afford the increase in rent and the counsellor said that it would help their love life get back on track. She was very, very, very correct.

They sat on the sofa in their new flat, soft music on in the background and three cups of tea on the table. Isak leaned back on Even's chest with Kari sitting between them.

"Are you ok, Even baby?"

"Yeah." Even sighed. "I think Kari has fallen asleep."

"I'll take her to bed, and then I'll take you to bed."

"Hey Isak you big stud, take me to bed or lose me forever." Giggled Even. "What film?"

"It's Top Gun you dork. And you can't lose me. I choose you. I choose us. I choose this family. I will never let anything become more important than this, than us, ever again."

Even never did call Anna.


	5. The Joy of Gay Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and Even visit a bookshop and reminisce about their sex life together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first fiction I ever read on AO3 was Untold Scenes of Isak and his Even. To me it's what 'really happened'. I reference it here and thank imissedyourskin for their amazing imagination and descriptions.
> 
> The second fiction I read was the In Every Universe series by cuteandtwisted. It inspired me to explore other ideas through reading stories about Isak and Even. I didn't realise at the time that this is what fan fiction is for.
> 
> I reference some of their scenes here and thank them for their talent and hard work.
> 
> I can't believe how amazing fan fiction can be!
> 
> Important note - I haven't dealt directly with Even's Bipolar in this fic. I don't feel qualified to, and I have read so many fics that have a really thoughtful explorations of this part of their relationship that I felt like I had nothing better to add.

"So Even baby, what do you want to do to this morning before we meet Kari for our late lunch?"

It was already Sunday morning, the last day of their visit to Glasgow before returning to their everyday lives in Oslo. Isak couldn't believe that this lunch would be their last time seeing Kari before she came home for the Christmas holidays. Four months without their baby girl would feel so much longer. It felt like the last day that they would be proper parents.

"I've been having a look online. We never made it to any gay clubs, as that wedding took over the first night and your libido took over last night." Even grinned. 

Isak replied with his own broad smile, "You didn't seem to mind at the time. I seem to remember you saying yes quite a lot: 'yes, yes...Isak, fuck...yes' if I recall correctly."

Even leaned over on the bed, gently took Isak by the chin and brushed their lips together. Isak responded easily and they spent a significant amount of time making out, lazy and familiar. From their very first kiss in the pool, Isak had always had a thing for kissing Even. He could remember lying in his teenage bed at the shared flat spending endless hours just kissing and cuddling, talking about the future and all their big ideas. It felt like a hundred years ago, and it felt like yesterday.

Isak placed his forehead against Even's and breathed deeply...

"Anyway..." He let out slowly. "How do you fancy going to visit the LGBT bookshop? It's a nice walk and could be interesting."

It was decided.

The bookshop was brilliant. It was small and independent, a hub for the community and a brilliant resource. The two men spent a few minutes browsing the shelves. Isak recognised a children's book they had bought for Kari when she had started to ask about having two dads. It was called 'And Tango Makes Three' and had really helped them. He remembered her asking about sex when she was about eight. He and Even had decided to be honest with her but having to explain sex without resorting to 'making babies' did make it a bit more challenging. They told her that sex was a way of showing someone you loved them in an adult way and then a simple version of what could go where whatever your sexuality was and left it at that. She seemed happy enough.

Even gave a small yelp, grabbed a thick book off the shelves and spun round at Isak excitedly. 

"Hey babes, look. It's our book!"

Isak turned to see Even holding up 'The Joy Of Gay Sex'.

"Oh, you know this book?" Asked the owner behind the counter, "It's one of our best sellers. That's the latest edition." She pointed with a pen to the book in Even's hand.

"Can we get this edition, please Isak, as a momento of our visit?" Even made puppy dog eyes at his husband. 

Isak laughed out loud, "Why are you asking my permission? Of course we can. I hope it's fully updated 'cos we kinda completed the last one!"

Even bought the book, a new pan badge for himself and two rainbow badges, one ally one for Kari and a flag one for Isak. He tucked the book into his rucksack, and headed out of the shop with almost a skip. Isak thanked the owner and followed his husband, smiling and shaking his head.

Walking back he couldn't help but let his mind wander to their sex life. His first time with Even had been his first time ever. He was so unprepared for what it would be like. It was terrifying (thank goodness for Eskild’s advice: 'Relax. Don’t be afraid to show how he makes you feel’.) Sharing it with Even had been so incredibly special, and he remembered feeling so proud at making Even feel so much. They explored each other that night and began the journey of getting to know each other's bodies more intimately. Isak smiled to himself. That was the night that Isak learned about the way Even loved Isak to scratch his nails on his back as Even rode him: AND the spot on Even's right hip bone that went straight to his dick.

However, it was all mixed up with the subsequent pain of finding out about Even's bipolar condition, his likely hyper-sexuality and an excruciating fear that his feelings for Isak were a symptom of his mania. The terror of that night had been replaced by their years of good communication, but the memory always made his heart quicken. He still couldn't hear 'O Helga Natt' at Christmas without feeling the echoes of it all again. They had talked about it extensively during those first few months together but it had been quite a few months until they had had sex again.

"You're very quiet babe, is everything alright?" Even stopped and looked at Isak as they were walking. "Do you need something?"

Isak smiled softly at him.

"Yes baby. I was actually just thinking about our first few years in the flat before we got Kari. How much sex we had! We were certainly two very horny young men! I was so clueless. I remember texting Esklid on our first night asking him for advice. He was so fucking delighted to be asked...but his advice was good. He told me to make sure to show you how I felt."

Even's face clouded. "It bothers me that our first time is mixed up with a manic episode. I still wish it had been different."

"You DO know that I don't, don't you? It's part of our story and nothing can change that now. We are who we are. I called you 'the man in my life' that night, and here you are - more than twenty years later - still the man in my life. Everyone should be so lucky!"

There was a long silence as they started to walk slowly again, hand in hand. 

"God!" Said Even. "We did have sex A LOT! I thought that I was so experienced and mature but I didn't have a clue really. I know the guys bought us that book as a laugh, but it did come in handy." He paused. "What's your favourite memory from that time?"

Isak responded immediately.

"The first time I blew you - it was in the shower." He grinned like the Cheshire Cat. "You came all over my face and instead of being freaked out I felt so proud to have made you lose it like that! It was such a turn on. For weeks I could hardly have a shower without getting a boner. I was so sure that everyone else could see that I was a different person; Every time I looked in the mirror I swear I could see the mark. Do you remember sexting me at school about it? I nearly got caught. Fuck, we were so young and carefree."

"How about when Kari moved in? She shared our room until we moved to the new flat. You are such a screamer, it was hilarious watching you trying to stay quiet, and quite erotic too. I should have bought you a gag," Even wiggled his eyebrows.

"I am the master of staying quiet during sex I'll have you know." Claimed Isak. Even just laughed. 

"What about the night that you thought we were getting too 'vanilla'? You decided that we would both open the book at a random page and we would have to do whatever it said."

"O my God!" Giggled Isak "That's right! I opened it at 'threesomes'. We went through all our friends and acquaintances to see if anyone would want to. You suggested Eskild which would have been like sleeping with my brother. I suggested Eva which you said no to because you thought she would like it too much. In the end we got so turned on just talking about it, we had sex all night and decided that it wasn't for us!" Isak smiled to himself. "What did you open the book at?"

"Rimming!" Said Even and paused. "That was a good afternoon, and certainly not 'vanilla'..."

"Yeah?" Asked Isak. "Do you remember that section of the book also explained 'felching'? And then it said, 'keep in mind, however, that not everything that comes out of a man's anus is necessarily something that you personally put into it'!" He snorted with laughter, a huge smile on his face. "That book had some pretty good one liners."

"I thought one of our best efforts was the role play." Even smirked at him. "I liked my character, James the American playboy. He's made a few appearances now! That night at the bar where I made a play on Emilio the professional footballer, visiting Oslo during a tournament was one of my finest performances."

"I think you'll find that my Emilio was an Oscar winning effort."

"I certainly enjoyed the way he wore his football strip!"

They walked on together, in comfortable silence, each of them lost in their own memories; some sweet, some passionate and some downright hilarious.

As they walked towards the cafe to meet Kari they passed a bench in George Square. They both paused and turned to each other at exactly the same time and smiled a knowing smile. Without speaking they climbed up on to the back of the bench, feet on the seat and held hands. Isak dipped his head until it was resting on Even's shoulder. They both sighed a sigh of deep contentment. Even leaned forward and kissed Isak firmly on the mouth. Isak accepted the kiss and then began to respond a bit more passionately, letting his tongue slide to caress Even's. As he was losing himself in the kiss he heard a voice close beside him say:

"Eugh! That's disgusting. You two - get a room!"

Both of their heads snapped round, muscles tense, ready to deal with the abuse. All they saw was Kari smiling at them happily with a playful look on her face.

Their own faces spread into two huge grins.

"Hi Dad. Hi Papa. I see you two are having a lovely holiday."

"You'd better believe it baby girl." Isak declared. "Let's go and get lunch!" The three of them linked arms and walked forward to their future - which hopefully included pizza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Category IS Books is a LGBTQIA+ Bookshop in the southside of Glasgow. They hope to create a space to learn about, be inspired by and share in a love of queer culture, writing, histories and storytelling. 
> 
> The Joy of Gay Sex is by Silversein and Picano.
> 
> I recommend them both.


	6. Coda - Kari

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kari makes a wee video for her Dad and Papa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was struggling with this until inspiration from Kenzie. I had tried a diary, letter writing and a phone conversation. Then you helped. Thank you for the YouTubers idea.
> 
> Kari's words on the video are in normal text, the brackets contain Isak and Even's comments. I wish I was talented enough to to make this video for real.

Even and Isak sat down in front of the screen. Their friends and family gathered around them and Kari pressed 'play'. 

Hi Dad. Hi Papa. 

("Oh it's our baby girl doing a face to camera - I'm so proud Kari!")

To celebrate this wonderful day I have decided to take a leaf out of Papa's book and make you both with a little video. The Story of Isak and Even, or '#Evak' as Uncle Magnus used to call you!

("Evak forever!" "Thanks Mags.")

More than 25 years ago a grumpy but cute 17 year-old boy called Isak met a tall and handsome, although a little pompous, 19 year-old called Even and they fell in love.

("Oh my God Even. When did we have so much hair! And what are you wearing?"  
"Isak, don't act surprised. I know you still have both that Simpsons t-shirt and the Jesus one in the drawer upstairs - you old romantic"  
"Kari, have you stolen all these photos from our collections?")

Even wooed Isak with his amazing laundry skills whilst Isak showed Even what a great cook he was.

("Very funny Kari")

They rented a flat together and made a life. Isak took the world of academia by storm, getting a first class degree in the human sciences, whereas Even began to follow his dream to become a world famous, Oscar winning movie director. However, little did they know that their plans were about to change! 

Although they loved each other they always thought that something was missing. They lost their lovely sister Lea Valterson, but at the same time gained a new person. Their lives were made complete when the wonderful Kari came along: Me!

("God, it's lovely to see Lea. I love that photo of the two of you in the park in the winter. You were just a toddler in a massive snowsuit! Your mum looks so happy!  
"Oh Isak do you remember Kari's dimples. She was so chubby,"  
"Right thank you Papa. This is meant to embarrass you - not me? But Dad I do love this photo too. It makes me happy because I think it was me that made her happy. If you know what I mean?")

I wanted to tell you two about my first memory, and I know I have never told you this, it must be from the old flat. I can clearly remember getting out of my bed and slipping in beside you two when I had a nightmare about Santa Claus breaking into our house! I remember Papa going to the kitchen to make me hot milk and dad telling me how Santa couldn't possibly be real because of the Laws of physics. Remember Dad you told me not to tell Papa that Santa didn't exist.

(I can't believe you did that Isak...actually on second thoughts, I can!"  
"Well, you're such an old romantic, I didn't want to spoil your Christmases. You love all the nonsense.")

I told all my friends in kindergarten the next day that Santa wasn't real cos my dad said so, and he was a scientist so he knew! Everyone was so upset that Mrs Pederson took me aside and told me that although I was right, I shouldn't tell anyone else because they still believed. It made me feel so smug and superior. 

("She gets THAT from you, Isak.")

I was also thinking about when we moved into the new flat and I got my own bedroom for the first time. I must have been about 6 or 7? I was so excited to have my own room but then I couldn't sleep properly for ages. I think I missed being in the same room with the the sound of you two breathing. It was so quiet without you.

("Do you think that she's old enough to know why your breathing was so heavy Isak?"  
"NO Even! I don't think anyone needs to know that actually...")

Do you remember the first time I came home drunk? God, I was so ill and I thought I was going to get into such trouble. When I woke up the next day you gave me lots of water and paracetamol and then just teased me constantly for the next month for being an 'emotional drunk'. 

("She gets THAT from you, Even.")

Interesting parenting guys!

I know that things haven't always been easy for you two. Papa, you never hid your condition from me and it has helped me to understand that mental health is just as important as physical health. You are an amazingly strong man, and an excellent role model to me. I wouldn't have wished for any other Papa.

("Oh Kari, baby.")

And Dad, you have always challenged me to be honest about myself. To never hide who I really am - even when others may not agree. I am proud to be your daughter.

("Baby girl...")

As you all know, Papa and Dad will have now been married for 20 years and that is what we celebrate tonight, and I'd like you all to hear the story. It's classic Even! 

A few months ago Papa came home from work at the nursery and told Dad to get dressed up in his smartest clothes as they were going out. When they got to the front door, Dad's chariot awaited...a bike - just one! Papa then cycled halfway across Oslo with Dad on the back of the bike. Apparently his face was bright red after 10 minutes. 

("25 years is a long time you know. I'm not as young as I used to be!")

This is what happened on their first date.

("I'm not sure we can call it a date, Kari!")

He took Dad to the site of their first kiss. It was a private house that they had BROKEN IN TO all those years ago to use the swimming pool because Papa had an obsession with Baz Lurmann's Romeo and Juliet movie. This time, being older and wiser, Papa had asked permission and took dad for a swim.

("I really thought we were breaking in again Even."  
"I'm older AND wiser babes.")

As they played the 'holding your breath under water' game - something we used to play as a family and which Dad always claimed to be the 'master' of, at exactly 21:21, Papa asked Dad to marry him...again.

("I AM the master of holding my breath under water, Kari."  
"Focus on the Romantic bit, Isak...")

And so here we are today, as the two best fathers in the world, the two best men that I know, are about to renew their vows. All those years ago they promised to be the best part of each other; each other's true north. 

But Dad, Papa has a surprise for you. He wants you to know just how much he loves you and how much he knows that you are his family. He is going to take our name. Change his name officially to 'Valterson' so that he is the same as us. We have always been a family but now no-one can doubt it.

("Oh...baby...really? I can't believe it. For me?"  
"Of course babes. I love you. Always have - ever since the first day of school."  
"Woah!")

And so friends, family and Uncle Eskild, I ask you all to get a drink, raise your glasses and toast the immense love story that is Isak and Even Valterson... To Evak!

("To Evak, babes"  
"Oh Baby, to us.")


End file.
